"Before you were conceived we wanted you, Before you were born we loved you, Before you were here an hour we would give our life for you. This is the miracle of life. ~Maureen Hawkins"

Saturday, January 30, 2010

Necon seems to be a success

Well last night at 6 p.m. was my first Necon b/c pill and this morning woke up to no bleeding and have had no bleeding yet for the day.  :)  Let's hope the effects keep getting better as the months go on and in June/July we are 50 lbs lighter and blessed with a BFP!!!

Friday, January 29, 2010

Day One Necon 1-35-28

Well, today was day one on my new b/c. My doctor has put me on Necon 1-35-28. I guess it's supposed to be good for women with PCOS (which I was diagnosed with about two years ago) so I'm hoping it does the job. Today is day 19 of bleeding so I am hoping the effects kick in fast and I stop bleeding soon.  I am going to start charting on my next cycle to see if I can figure out a O pattern before we start TTC in June.  Had a good talk with mom today and got out some good crying which I think I needed more than I realized.  Can't wait to see where these new things take us. 

Thursday, January 28, 2010


Desperately, helplessly, longingly, I cried;

Quietly, patiently, lovingly, God replied,

I pled and I wept for a clue to my fate...

And the Master so gently said, "Wait."

"Wait? you say wait?" my indignant reply.

"Lord, I need answers, I need to know why!

Is your hand shortened? Or have you not heard?

By faith I have asked, and I'm claiming your word.

"My future and all to which I relate

Hangs in the balance, and you tell me to wait?

I'm needing a 'yes', a go-ahead sign,

Or even a 'no' to which I can resign.

"You promised, dear Lord, that if we believe,

We need but ask, and we shall receive.

And Lord I've been asking; and this is my cry;

I'm weary of asking! I need a reply."

Then quietly, softly, I learned of my fate,

As my Master replied again, "Wait."

So I slumped in my chair, defeated and taut,

And grumbled to God, "So, I'm waiting for what?"

He seemed then to kneel, and His eyes met with mine...

and He tenderly said, "I could give you a sign.

I could shake the heavens and darken the sun.

I could raise the dead and cause mountains to run.

"I could give all you seek and pleased you would be.

You'd have what you want, but you wouldn't know Me.

You'd not know the depth of my love for each saint.

You'd not know the power that I give to the faint.

"You'd not learn to see through clouds of despair.

You'd not learn to trust just by knowing I'm there.

You'd not know the joy of resting in Me

When darkness and silence are all you can see.

"You'd never experience the fullness of love

When the peace of My spirit descends like a dove.

You would know that I give, and I save, for a start,

But you'd now know the depth of the beat of My heart.

"The glow of my comfort late into the night,

The faith that I give when you walk without sight.

The depth that' beyond getting just what you ask

From an infinite God who makes what you have last.

"You'd never know, should your pain quickly feel,

What it means that My grace is sufficient for thee.

Yes, your dearest dreams overnight would come true,

But, oh the loss, if you missed what I'm doing in you.

"So, be silent, my child, and in time you will see

That the greatest of gifts is to truly know me.

And though often My answers seem terribly late,

My most precious answer of all is still...Wait."

Seeing the Rainbow through the storm...

I heard a quote the other day that fit our situation perfectly. 

 "If you want the rainbow, you must to put up with the rain"

I believe that we are going through the storm but am confident that their is a rainbow at the end of our journey.  I just went to the doctor today for bleeding that has been going on for 18 days now.  She thinks my hormones are all out of wack and has put me on a high dose birth control in hopes it will regulate my cycles and my hormones. I have to be on it for 6 months, which actually works perfectly for the NY trip I am taking wiht my mom and sister in June.  Hopefully, after I get back I can go off of the BC and start back on my Metformin and hopefully my first round of Clomid. Plus I've heard that women with PCOS tend to get a surge of fertility right after going off of BC so fingers crossed :) I really feel like this is going to be our year for a healthy pregnancy.  I know I am meant to be a mommy and know that it will happen in God's time.  Thank you everyone for your love and support through these tough times. We couldn't get through this without you <3